Do you have a loved one who is currently on their fertility journey but you aren’t sure how to best support them?
Maybe you don’t know what to say or you’re wondering why they missed your recent celebration.
Last month, we asked some of our fertility warriors what is most helpful to them.
✨What do they wish their loved ones understood?
✨What is the most encouraging thing for someone to say/do?
Here’s what some of them had to say:
? “It was extremely hurtful and frustrating when people would tell me to stop stressing out and I would get pregnant. Also, it was annoying and hurtful when people would constantly ask when we were going to have kids.”
? “I wish people would have stopped telling me to just relax and let it happen. I wish they knew how much time, energy, money, and emotions goes in to trying to get pregnant.
My most helpful supportive friends just sat and listened to me.”
? “I wish people understood how hard baby showers, gender reveals, and birth announcements were for us. I’d rather people try to understand that we’d like to attend your party, but we’re not for our own mental and emotional health. I’m happy for you, but understand it’s too hard to celebrate in person and please try to be understanding instead of offended.”
? “During this time, ‘at least’ statements were hard because they minimize your pain and almost make you feel guilty for feeling how you do. I heard, ‘at least it was early,’ or ‘at least you were able to get pregnant,’ and I know others who have experienced secondary infertility who have heard, ‘at least you have other children,’ etc.”
? “The best, most helpful thing for me was when people would just be there with open arms and ears. To listen without offering opinions or comments is a gift! I also liked hearing the stories of other infertility/recurrent miscarriage warriors. Most of all, for me personally, knowing that others were praying for me was a huge blessing.”
? “From people who had experienced loss, the most comforting thing someone told me was that anything I was feeling was valid. Everyone processes a miscarriage differently. And whatever way you do, is the right way for you and your family.”
? “The most validating thing someone said to me was, ‘I am so sorry. I don’t know what to say.’ Just acknowledging that they had not been in my position and they didn’t know what to say was the perfect thing to say.”
#FINA #HelpingFamiliesBuildFamilies #SupportingOurFertilityWarriors
